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the filthy trenches of viral marketing

I got an email from a very concerned businessman today. The subject line read, “I write to seek your cooperation as my foreign partner”.

In a heartfelt and polite letter, Mr. Daniel explained that through rigorous fasting and prayers to his Almighty, he’d developed a spontaneous but blessedly divine trust in me. If I were to become his business partner, Mr. Daniel might let me in on an amazing deal, the kind that only comes once in a lifetime.

At first, I was shocked. Me? No way! He’d even emailed me at my book series’ contact address. Perhaps it was an omen. Book sales have been fair, but nothing I could quit my job over. I knew going into this that the rewards can be few and far between.

I forged on, heart palpitating with anticipation. Generally, I don’t believe in short cuts. There generally aren’t any, especially in the cutthroat world of self publishing.

But this? This might be a short cut.

You see, Mr. Daniel was the lawyer and personal confidant for a foreigner that happened to have a humungous horde of gold, worth at least $30M in USD. Amazing! Astounding! Sadly, this individual was deceased, and Mr. Daniel is seeking someone trustworthy to help settle his estate.

What an opportunity! Imagine what even a mediocre five percent of that gargantuan horde of precious metal could buy me! An editor, or maybe half an editor, at least.

Seeing as Mr. Daniel was a man of good taste, as evidenced by his choice in contacting me, I saw an opportunity for the both of us. I’d contact him back, demonstrating my own canny business skills and hint at my unlimited creative capacity.

Mr. Daniel,

I’d like to introduce you to my debut novel, HIGH WATER. I get the uncanny feeling that you might like it. http://www.amazon.com/High-Water-R-W-Tucker-ebook/dp/B00O2AADMO Don’t forget to leave an honest review!

RW Tucker

I’m now obsessively refreshing my email client, literally shaking with excitement.

The future is bright indeed!

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My own book series

So time for a little bit of self promotion.

I’m the author of a book series called HIGH WATER.

It’s martial arts meets zombies meets kung fu, and Part 1, short and sweet, can be found here:


Here’s a review from a satisfied reader:

As I was reading through the third chapter of this short book, I was starting to get angry. It just kept reminding me that I’m completely out of weed, and had me desperately scorching the bottom of my caked bowl as I read on. I cannot imagine a more perfect book for a stoner to read, and not just because all the main characters are stoners. It’s also hilarious, full of ridiculously gorey, eye-popping Kung Fu action, a surprisingly believable premise, and characters I swear I know from real life. R. W. Tucker is a talented new writer, and he’s set up a fresh new zombie story that I can’t wait to keep reading.

Right now we’re two books into the series, and I’m working on book three at the moment. It’s a bear, but I’m looking forward to completing the story.

Hope to hear your thoughts on it soon!

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